A little while ago I was fortunate enough to meet with a bunch of (mainly) Californians in a lovely Jacaranda-laden Campus of St Mary’s College, LA. There was a competition, the prize of which was not insubstantial – about 300 bucks worth of free seminars. The contest? To write a limerick about the two days we had just spent doing ‘Current concepts in pain science and implications for clinical practice’. We have had an in-house BIM vote to whittle down the excellent submissions to 7 finalists. We would love you all to vote. We are now running an experiment to see if we can make this work on BiM, by voting via a poll. So, the finalists (in a randomly finalised order) are at the top. Please check the number of the limerick that you think is the most deserving of the prize. Please also check the extra box if you were part of the weekend at St Mary’s. The poll is in the right side bar, if you are viewing on your mobile please turn your mobile theme off or vote on your computer.
The experience, I wonder of Lorimer’s pain
Like this contest, it drives me insane
But I’d be honored to win
Because I’m Canadian
And I can only afford the cost of the plane
In the bush a man wore a sarong
His feet bare, he should have worn thongs
He mistook a fang for a stick
And it made him quite sick
Turns out his brain got it wrong
A S1 cell is in the Queue
But its moments to fire are few
When its voltage retires
By its neighbor it fires
Saying “I’m so disinhibited with you”
A dancer was going insane
For her pelvis was locked up in pain
Then, a story she heard
And was finally cured
Once she learned it was all in her brain
Joe’s pain was in his brain
Nocioception he could not contain
Try as he might
What a glimmering site
To re-conceptualize his pain
Dr. Moseley’s not a tough mate to peg,
For his stories you won’t have to beg.
Once he strolled through the bush,
A sarong on his tush,
And a venomous snake bit his leg.
To the boring a gentle, respectful shove
Learn to play the sax, and play work that you love
Move on from that Little Man by Descartes
The world is up Down Under, Mrs. Smart
Cheers from L.A. to your Princess and the Guv
-Margeret “meg” Nicholson
And here are the other submitted limericks:
This spanking new research on pain
Does try to biologise and explain
Prof. Moseley recites limricks
And students act class skits
Of neuro tags that map pain on the brain
This class very plainly does show
Information more people should know
My question, I can’t deny it,
Is how best to apply it
And then help the healing to flow.
There was an Aussie named Lorimer
Whose research on nerves took him far.
When it came to pain
he said retrain the brain
And politely dismissed R. Descartes
In explaining pain he was big
But strolling he did a funny jig
Cuz the walk in the bush became a pain in the tush
When the brown snake wasn’t a twig.
When explaining pain it became his mission
To teach that some pain is altered neurone transmission.
Moseley was his name and pain was his game,
And with stories he had disinhibition.
There once was a man with a Ph.D
By the name of Lorimer Mo-sel-ley
He hibbity hops and bibbity bops,
To proclaim: (pause)
“our brain controls our pain”
Lorimer Moseley is a very funny man,
He talks and talks and talks about pain.
His cortex so BIG
Got set off by a twig
Singing Rene, Rene,
This is your last Gig!!
There’s this man that studies about pain
He jokes about sharks, snakes and brains
He’s smarter than Descartes
Talks too much about Farts
And teaches that no two toilets are the same
Now lets send him back to Brisbane
The pain in my brain,
I know has nothing to gain.
To ruin my life,
That is now filled with strife
So I choose to be back in the game.
-Alice G. Langit-Cole
There once was a bloke from down under
He tore our definition of pain asunder
When we thought we were near
He asked: “What about fear?”
And we realized we made quite a blunder
Have you ever heard of neuro tagging
A system in our brain for mapping
If you walk in the bush
And get bit in the tush
Next time you won’t be lagging
Here came a young Aussie named Moseley
With new apps a bout pain, supposedly
Don’t chase it, but teach
Wigglin free can be reached
When brain’s matrixed screams “Danger” are volumed more soundly.
Lorimer in his train truck down under
Knocked the water tank clear asunder
Riffin drills on his clarinet
Orenithology he’d get
While his band’s playin Grace, his brain’s a blunder
Moseley likes to teach on pain
Some think he’s quite insane
Some are wrong
To give that song
His patients are the one’s to gain
A man who was truly a dear
Helped a gal with and ant in her ear
The ant floated out in a wink
And the man didn’t blink
Though through his foot was a nail impailed.
A cell in the brain, nerve cell was he
MRI clear, injury gone
Pain still persists, how could this be?
Not just the fibers A delta or C
But a variety of factors per Moseley!
One never knows…..
Lorimer is a bloke
…who loves to joke.
He’s had all sorts of careers
….which means he has no fears.
A soccer player and maybe even a dragon slayer.
A saxophonist that may love donuts.
A PT that never wanted to be…..
Now he’s so good he can charge a fee!
He’s so much more than all that-
Don’t you know dat?
Coz he’s a Dad of a lad called
“Lord Adorable Squeaky Pants”
who’s never learned the word “can’t”.
And a daughter named “Princess Petunia
Lake Features,” oh such a lovely creature!
Lorimer grins as he does his pelvic tilt,
Let’s put him in a purple kilt!
Smiles all the while
As we learn and discern….
From the Aussie who is so saucy!
Lorimer is quite the smart Aussie
Who loves to travel with a posse.
A neurotag he brings
Of facilitation he sings
Why can’t he just teach us neural flossing?
There once was a man from down under,
Whose fascination with toilets caused wonder.
He’s written books about pain,
How it’s controlled the brain
To ignore him would be a big blunder!
Dr. Moseley is a jolly old mate,
But once had a change in his gait.
While wearing a sarong,
Thank god not a thong,
The snake almost sealed his fate.
I went to the clinic for my knee
The therapist said “let’s have a look and see”
She said “Please explain”
Said “It’s happening in your brain”
Then due to disinhibition I sang “Hallelujah”
Perfectly on key.
There once was a smart geek from Australia
With neurotags, biologies and disinhibition he regaled us.
Rearranging our brains’ electronics
Citing research and clever neumonics
He gave us pain concepts that won’t fail us.
-Virginia G. Frank
And with special mention, although not technically limericks:
We attended the course wondering about pain
Not just of the tissue but also of the brain
A boring talker & clarinet player made us think
Even one’s hand in a mirror could be a key link
How strange that pain has more to do with fear
Than X-rays & MRIs that our Doctors hold dear
Amazing that only imagining a joint moving
Could stop a patient’s pain bell from ringing
Sadly clinician’s keep bringing Descarte back
When recycling him only keeps us off track
Pr Moseley’s stories help us re-conceptualize
That a non-threatenening plan for pain can arise
Pain is not just in the muscle, fascia or joint tissue
But, of our whole nervous system, that’s the issue.
Saturday You Had to be There’s Class
Advice was given to use olive oil to drown out ants
Think of isosceles and Lord Adorable Squeaky Pants
Pain is a sum of hurt, experience and belief
A flare does not mean danger much to all’s relief
Sometimes we bip, sometimes we bob, sometimes we should just dance
Sometimes we need to give life a little push
As those Neurotags range from the head to tush
How could a brain give an answer so glibly wrong
With a bod that should be so sharp in a sarong
Tisn’t only the twigs that are in the Bush
-Margeret “meg” Nicholson